I have chosen to refer to my nearest and dearest by nouns rather than their names or their relationships to me on here, partly for amusement, partly because I don’t like to use actual names, and partly just because it seems to be the done thing in Blogland. Here, you can find their names decoded:
Me: come look over here. Photos and all.
The Physicist – signed up for a life with bookcases when he married me in July 2010. He already knew I had a bad book-buying addiction and has attempted to curb it by maintaining that I may only have one six-foot IKEA Billy bookcase for my books.
Apart from a few piles atop/beside the bookcase, on my desk and a number in the other room, I mostly manage I am totally not managing to stick to his limit. He’s absurdly terribly clever and spent a few years thinking about how the universe expanded just after the Big Bang (I think. I have a Physics degree and I’m still not sure what his thesis meant) and now designs robotic fish. Reads a lot of fantasy and sci-fi and will not accept that I might not enjoy the same books that he does.
The (No Longer) Resident Cousin – don’t ask me what degree of cousins we are, I can’t work it out. It’s not first. L moved to London in July 2010 pursuing employment in publishing and the glamourous London life. Publishing employment proved hard to come by, although its alternatives were amusing, particularly when we accidently ended up working at the same place for a few weeks. I have never met anyone who can look quite so effortlessly chic. Anyway she moved into our spare room in February 2011 “for a few weeks” and stayed for 5 months. We hurled novels back and forth across the corridor and she curated my To-Be-Read-Next pile for me. She’s moved home to Sydney now and I’m totally jealous.
Mini-Me – my 9 1/2 years younger sister. Reads – a lot. I thought I was a voracious reader as a child. Has managed to keep reading seriously past the age of 13 and has thus far stuck to her promise to do a special happy post dance every single time I post her a book. Has lent me vast swathes of YA novels.
The Book Accumulator – my father has a habit of buying books and not reading them. You think I’m bad… my family have two bookcases in the downstairs toilet (not in the actual toilet, obviously…). Bizarrely content to let me borrow large batches of novels from him at a time; I blame him for my book-buying habit and for my blogging – he provides a neat precis of his best books of the year in his annual Christmas epistle. Was a language teacher, which is very handy when I have a coursework deadline; regularly pretends to be hapless and disorganised so that I will pop over from the UK and sort his office out.
The Musician – mother. Insanely crazily busy and hard-working and complete musical genius. I’m always in awe. Also I like to test her out by giving her the last movement of the Moonlight Sonata to thunder through on the piano. Try it out, it’s hard. A keen reader, when she’s not memorising dots on lines. I blame her for my John Grisham and general thriller weakness. We steal private investigator novels from one another.
C – no I don’t have a good moniker for her. Submissions welcomed. Another prolific reader, who is actually qualified to have opinions on literature because of her Arts/Science degree in progress. We have bonded over our mutual love of 84 Charing Cross Road. Also she’s from the most ridiculously impressive over-achieving family; they’re all brilliantly talented. It boggles the mind.
The Muffin Maven – J is possibly my oldest friend? Honorary big sister to myself and Mini-Me, purveyor of terribly naughty muffins and fudge and my favourite biscuits whenever I’m in the right city (seriously – she’s had them dropped off at prestigious London hotels by QANTAS pilots for me), we share a love of The West Wing (we’re certain What Would C.J. Do is a valid life philosophy) and Italian opera featuring dying sopranos.
3G – so named because of her alliterative initials and her technowhizkid tendencies. Keeps me sane in London and should be everyone’s bike consultant of choice. 3G and the German (below) and I regularly meet for sushi and hilarity. Is, like C above, absurdly talented. At approximately everything. Blogged about The Physicist’s and my wedding here which I think is the first time anyone ever blogged about me. Huzzah. She’s now a private tutor and decluttering consultant, and if you’re in London and in need of either of these services, hire her.
The German – is not German at all, but sometimes you get a funny nickname at uni and it sticks for life. Or at least a few years. I used to play cricket with her at uni and completely by coincidence, we moved in at opposite ends of the same street in London. Also cycles around London, also keeps me sane at work, has started to borrow books from my overflowing shelves, which can only be a good thing.
The Twin – usually referred to by my father as The Lady J because she is so effortlessly graceful (it’s a German thing). Attended the same school as me in southern England and then wisely chose to move to Hamburg to study medicine so that she would be in the right city when I visit my parents. The number of complete strangers who say we look alike (when we don’t think we do at all!) is why she’s called The Twin. My best and closest friend, I trust The Twin to call me on it when I’m being ridiculous, which is why she was the maid of honour at my wedding.
The Rower – The Physicist and I failed to buy a house for most of 2013, due to London’s absurd house prices. Deciding to save me some of the absurd commute I had from South London, we decided to move much closer to the centre of London, where the housing is much better per person when you get above 2 people in a house. So we pleaded with The Rower, our friend from uni, who (bizarrely) agreed very quickly to share a house with us. Is very definitely of the opinion that I have too many books.